September 7, 2016
There has been a major shift in life with the kids being back to school now. With every major shift, it’s a relevant time to reassess boundaries. Schedules have shifted, boundaries are being established (and pushed) and with a little time, a roller coaster of resistance, and more awareness around boundaries, things will surely start to get back into flow.
“Give ’em and inch, and they take a mile!”
This quote seems to be right in my face currently. My children are always wanting more and more and more. It’s as though, having enough doesn’t exist in their world.
Talk about feeling defeated as a parent! But then I remember how amazing this quality is. I will always want my children to get what they want, and right now that means “more, more, more.” The balance comes with figuring out how to teach them to have boundaries without letting these boundaries stifle and suffocate them as they grow.
This brings me to take a look at myself and my parenting.
Here are some questions I ask myself:
-What if I am putting up too many boundaries around them?
-What would happen if I erased a couple boundaries? I’m curious to see.
-Will they keep going and going, pushing and pushing?
My intuition tells me that if that boundary is gone, they will self access, heal, and know exactly when to apply that boundary when appropriate. Although, I do deeply hesitate, because fear creeps in. Despite my fears, I know there are some boundaries I need to learn to let go of.
After all, our kids will figure things out their own way, establish their own boundaries, and make mistakes finding them in the process, just like the rest of us.
Whether or not you have children, observing your own boundaries is an interesting way to learn to bring more balance to your life. And when you attune your boundaries, you act as an energetic guide for others to find more balance around their boundaries.
So, where do you fall on the boundary scale?
Do you have any boundaries, or are you completely wide open?
Do you have a healthy set of boundaries or are you a solid, very well put together brick wall?
Whichever side you tend to fall on is great! Seeing yourself and noticing your patterns is always the first step to creating something different.
If you are very open, with limited boundaries, could there be more balance by finding more spaces or opportunities to hold stronger curtains? I like curtains. They aren’t walls, they aren’t solid. They are a soft, flexible, flowing separation that speaks to zero rigidity. I like knowing that boundaries don’t have to be rigid. They can be up and noticeable without being abrupt and off-putting.
If you tend to put up more boundaries, that’s awesome too. Is there a way to find a bit more openness? It’s a little scary. It may feel like just removing one brick from the wall will completely topple it over.
Whichever way you fall, challenge yourself to find more balance in your life by opening or creating more boundaries accordingly.
In Health and Healing,