February 2, 2016
A couple of weeks ago I wrote about using food and alcohol as numbing agents to our feelings. Although they get the most attention, it’s not just food and alcohol, it might be television or being really really busy that can play into numbing our emotions. And I’ve done all of these. That’s why I love writing about it, because I constantly need reminders.
Someone recently commented that she has nothing major to plan or do in the month of February and it’s completely freaking her out. It’s an opportunity for a less stressful moment in life and it’s super uncomfortable for her. Being stressed out and overwhelmed has become the normal. What if it’s rather, a strategy to avoid, numb, and not handle something else. Interesting.
The truth is, avoiding this discomfort doesn’t get us anywhere. Bringing awareness and acknowledging it can bring us great personal and spiritual growth. So how I can apply this to me in my life, but also, how I can apply it to my parenting. It is actually a win-win. My kids will only learn from me the things that I am actually doing. I want to do this for myself and in doing that I will inadvertently teach them how to feel discomfort. I want to prepare my kids for the “uncomfortable”.
Where does all this numbing come from anyways? Society? Medicine? Parents?
Maybe some, maybe all? I really don’t know the answer.
As a parent, the “wanting to take the pain away NOW effect” is already present in my kids. My daughter burned her finger on the stove. I offered her an essential oil to help heal the burn, but I told her it won’t take the pain away. She was not happy with that and wanted something to stop the pain immediately. Or there was the cut on the leg that hurts because it’s rubbing against the blanket at bedtime, followed by the “I need medicine for my cut” scream.
Helping with the emotional pain can be a little bit harder. We’ve all said it to our kids, “Stop crying, stop it right now.” I like to think I’m on the right path when my daughter replies with “It’s okay for me to cry, I can cry as long as I want to.” And she’s 100% right! Even if I think she’s being dramatic, or totally bullshitting, she has the right to feel her feelings and cry as long as she wants to. But, also, when they are truly upset and feeling sad or angry, it’s challenging to just be there for them, because we often want to take away that pain. When it is more appropriate for them to get through those emotions themselves.
Our society is obsessed with pain management and every form of medicine, western or eastern, has pharmaceuticals, herbs, or remedies, to help take the pain away. The physical pain and the emotional pain. Whatever avenue we choose, there are time to be truly grateful for these medicines. Are they always necessary though?
It may come as no surprise that my Intention for the month of February is to simply open up to feeling more! After all, it is the month dedicated to feeling love, so it only seems fitting! The kicker is, if I want to open up to LOVE, I have to invite all the other emotions in as well. Feelings don’t discriminate. I can’t choose that I want to feel joy and love, but numb myself to shame, guilt, and fear. Oddly enough, the positive feelings can be a little more uncomfortable to feel if you’re not accustomed to feeling them. If we are numbing one emotion we are numbing all emotions.
What’s really cool is that you can change this?
Wherever you are on the spectrum, you can always FEEL more……..and more……..and more!
Start with Awareness.
Bring awareness to what you are feeling and what you are not.
Are you numb sometimes? All the time?
Where is there emotional and/or physical pain your body?
What are you feeling when you do start to unravel? Fear? Pain? Anger?
Don’t judge, just notice.
Don’t fix, just recognize.
Give 100% permission for all of these feelings, knowing numbness is a feeling.
Get clear on what you want.
“I want to start noticing the feeling of LOVE this week.”
“I want to feel this pain in my chest when I think about LOVE.”
Do one thing every day that makes you uncomfortable.
Sit with your pain for 5 minutes.
Feel angry without acting on it.
Have a conversation you’ve been avoiding.
Picking one emotion to focus on at a time can feel less overwhelming. I’m going to focus on LOVE this week!
Join me – Let’s LET LOVE IN!
If it’s new territory, you may want to crawl out of your skin. So be brave, open wide, and allow those feelings to shine, shimmer, and flow. Release the blocks. Get in your flow!
In Health and Healing,