January 12, 2016
The toxic and haunting J-word. At a very young age I was introduced to judgment, as most young girls are. I was deep into the competitive gymnastics scene until I was 12, and immediately transitioned into the world of competitive dance and continued competing for roles in college and competing for jobs into my early twenties. It was an unregretful path, but because of it I do know how poisonous judgment can be. I’m grateful to NOW have the tools to help myself and others heal when it comes to the energy of JUDGMENT.
I hope these tools will begin to extinguish judgement from your life.
- Identify/notice when you’re being judgmental.
First and foremost, be witness to your judgements. When you do, say, or think something judgmental about yourself or another, write it down – (without judgment). After a couple of days see what you have. It’s a really nice exercise to bring awareness to the specifics and frequency of your judgements. It is a stepping stone to healing.
To continue to heal, after you notice your judgements always remember what you want! Do you want to be judging? If you do, rock it out, and see TOOL #3 below. Personally, I have to remember that I want to be accepting of myself and others. Write that down and say it out loud. Make it a daily affirmation.
- If you are judging someone else you’re judging yourself.
The truth is, whenever I’m judging someone else, it has nothing to do with them. It’s all of my insecurities showing up. The opposite is true as well, when someone else is judging me, it’s all of their fears getting lit up. My teacher says, “What other people think of me is none of my business!” And how true and healing this can be on both sides of the coin.
And worse yet, when you’re in judgement you’re attracting judgement. Bottom line – if you don’t want people judging you than you better not be doing any judging.
The next step in healing judgment is to take a look at the list you made and see what shadows you’re hiding behind. What insecurities get lit up in you? Is it body image, parenthood, relationships? Whatever it is, take a look at what is reflecting back at you and acknowledge it.
- If you’re going to judge, do it 100%, and then use it as an opportunity to heal yourself.
Sometimes, ya just gotta jump into it 100%. Give yourself permission to be judgmental. Have no judgement on being judgmental. HAHAHA! When you’re in it, go all the way into it and allow the judgement to flow out, it can be very healing. You may even realize how ridiculous the situation is, or how it brings something to the surface in you that you weren’t aware needed to be healed or attended to. What a great gift!
Once you’ve identified this part of yourself and are willing to pull it out from behind your shadow……….
1. Forgive yourself.
2. Validate yourself.
3. Accept yourself.
Acceptance is the antidote to judgement.
Because there is no better than or worse than. There is only different. Because what may be appropriate for one is not necessarily appropriate for another.
In health and healing,