February 9, 2016
The realization that “I’d rather be happy than right!” has led me on an interesting path to finding more freedom in my life.
At the beginning of this year, one of my resolutions was to ‘talk less, listen more, and stop arguing.” This seemed appropriate to apply to ALL of my relationships. This is something that doesn’t come easy for me (I’ve had 37 years of doing it a different way), so I have had to remind myself every day of this new intention…..
Simple: Less talking, more listening. The outcome: less arguing, more freedom to live in my truth.
In this short month and a half, it’s been going pretty well, but still I want to live and breath more of it.
And then yesterday, I was listening to a lecture by Gabby Bernstein who speaks and inspires teachings based on a book entitled A Course in Miracles. The message she shared was this…
“In my defenselessness my safety lies.”
I have to admit, I’ve heard her mention this before, but things must have been aligned for me yesterday to really grab on to the depth of this concept and understand just how powerful this can be in shifting our belief systems.
She went on to explain…..
When someone is attacking you (engaging in argument) and you choose to attack back, you are investing in their illusions. This person has invested in certain illusions that are creating poverty in their life. Their illusions are creating darkness, bad energy, negativity, or however you like to describe it. But, when you attack back, you are investing in their illusions and you become poor too.
When you choose to not defend yourself and choose to stand in your truth, letting go of the littleness then you find your true power, your safety. When you show up in your truth and keep up the boundary of your information, the silence you present is profound. The silence is healing for you and them. By silence, I don’t mean walking away or hanging up the phone, I mean staying present and showing up for the situation.
In your silence, the other person now has the opportunity to see their illusions and their poverty, and once they see something they don’t like or that doesn’t feel good to them, they will shift. Or, they may not shift at all and that’s okay too.
A small scale example of this happened to me yesterday. Coincidence? I don’t think so, I don’t believe in coincidence.
I sent an email asking for a discount on a rental property. This was a big step for me to even do. Negotiating makes me nervous and money is such a hot spot for people. Nevertheless, I sent it and I shortly received an email back that was a bit angry in tone and I felt a little like I was being attacked. Initially, I got angry back. Then, I let it go. I actually realized his response had nothing to do with me and so I was like, “Alright then!” I have received my answer, now lets move on with life. Less then 10 minutes later, I received an apology email and an acceptance of a discount (not the one I asked for, but a discount nonetheless)!
I did get defensive for a moment, and then I let it go and remained defenseless (my personal challenge). Being in a defenseless place feels so much better in my body, it’s peaceful and freeing, not restricted and agitated.
Maintaining YOUR defenselessness is the key to opening up to more freedom in YOUR life!
How will it unfold for you?
In health and healing,