Making UNCOMFORTABLE the new COMFORTABLE.

October 20, 2015

Straight away, I think about the sitcom Friends and the hilarious one-liner that pushed into the mainstream through the 90’s ….. “This is uncomfortable!” “I’m uncomfortable.”  “This is making me uncomfortable.”

So what makes you uncomfortable?  Is it the pain in your low back, a migraine headache, or simply the sound of your children arguing?  Or could it be a spouse, friend, or parent saying something that intensely lights you up?

The first step to healing that pain is fully acknowledging and noticing the discomfort you experience.

Then, what do you do once you notice it?

You want it to go away really fast, right?  And the longer it lingers, the more you want it to go and you’ll do almost anything to numb it because it’s uncomfortable!

When my children are whining, crying, arguing with each other over and over again, I literally want to crawl out of my skin – I am SOOOO uncomfortable.  Once and a while they push me to the edge and instead of sitting with that feeling, I start to yell and argue back.  It’s not what I want to do, but it’s more comfortable for me to go to anger, than to feel the discomfort of my fear of losing control over my kids.

So, that is where I am……….

and this is where I want to go……….

I want to feel the discomfort.  I want to stay with the crawling out of my skin sensation, because really, that’s not my energy.  And if I wait and be with it, and really truly feel the discomfort, it will subside.  And, I know that next time the feeling may not be so intense and I’d much rather choose to get comfortable with the uncomfortable then to yell at my kids.

It goes back to being a child.  Our parents want to take our pain away as fast as possible.  The pain of falling and scraping our knees, the pain of losing a competition, the pain of someone hurting our feelings, or the pain of not feeling accepted.  Our parents want the crying to stop, want the bad mood to go away and want to see our happy, smiling faces again.  It’s what they’ve been taught.  It’s been passed along from generation to generation.  It’s empathy.  It’s sympathy.  But……..

How does it set us up for real life?

In real life, we come up against pain and discomfort all the time.  Feeling awkward, anxious, alone, sadness, jealous, and challenged is all part of life.  Everyone feels this.  It’s what we do with it once it’s there.  If we don’t know how to handle the discomfort we can turn to substances to help numb us.  And, it isn’t only drugs and alcohol, it can be caffeine, food, sugar, sex and relationships that we use to mask the discomfort.  It’s easier to ignore your emotions.

Realistically though, it’s okay to be uncomfortable sometimes.  Its a huge opportunity to grow and heal.  If something is uncomfortable, and if we can identify where in our body it’s uncomfortable and just let it be, then it has the permission to flow through us, leaving us with a whole new sense of freedom and internal peace.  It’s hard work, but nothing is more rewarding.

Let yourself be vulnerable and feel something new today!  You have to feel it to heal it.

In Healing and Health,

kellysignature

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