Parenting is Work

June 22, 2016

 

I was faced with a pretty big wake up call last week when my quest to create spontaneity and freedom this summer was being blocked.  This block was sibling rivalry. Day after day, the quarrelling sent me over the edge. I literally lost my mind and my cool.

I believe that I create my life.  In tough times, though, it’s easier to blame my kids then acknowledge my part in the matter.

Then the universe sent relief.  I read an amazing and simple parenting article.  I felt like it saved my life in that moment.  And truly it just reminded of things I already know, but had forgotten.  I got so busy with my stuff that I completely deprived my children of their necessary daily needs.

So I share with you three reminders and actions will ensure that our kids’ basic needs are met.  If you don’t have kids, these can be good reminders to apply to all relationships.

  1. Attention
  2. Affection
  3. Affirmation

That’s it – so simple, but again sometimes it falls by the wayside.  We get caught up in our own lives and managing ourselves and our own needs.  (I’m welcoming self forgiveness here.)

Affection and Affirmation.

Giving each child a proper morning greeting is so meaningful to them.

A really present and focused, “Hello, good morning, how are you doing?” While looking at them in the eyes and giving them a hug, kiss, back rub or cuddle really makes a difference and is a great way to show affection.

Using affirmations to share your feelings with them will help them feel so bright and loved.

“I love your smiling face.”  “You are such a joy to see in the morning.”  “I love giving you big hugs first thing when you wake up.”

This is so intuitive, but I got lazy, forgetful and busy making breakfast, cleaning the house, packing lunches, doing laundry, etc…..  But the big reality check was yeah, my kids need affection and affirmation first and foremost and what better time then first thing in the morning.

Attention.

Giving each child the appropriate attention had turned out to be key for watching them all get along better with each other.

A short one on one conversation, a dinosaur battle, a game of cards, or a cooking helper, gives them each enough attention to feel like they belong and are significant.

I’ve noticed a significant change in our morning routine. The fighting has diminished drastically and almost immediately after focusing on giving each child affection, attention, and affirmation.

So, now that the sibling rivalry road block has been uplifted, time to continue on creating what I want, a summer of freedom, fun, and spontaneity.

In Health and Healing,

kellysignature

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