April 11, 2017
Do you ever get stuck in a rut where everything seems to be going wrong? Have you thought to yourself, my behavior is wrong, their behavior is wrong, this situation is wrong, and wait for it…this President is wrong?
But, what if nothing is wrong about me? About her? About this? About the President?
Gasp! If any of that gets you charged up, say hello to…
And then try saying good bye to it. Whenever you are in struggle, resistance is always nearby. If saying good bye isn’t working then give yourself full permission to be where you are right now!
My biggest challenge is with my family. It’s always the “What’s wrong with _____?” (fill in the blank with one of my three kids) thought. For example, “Why doesn’t she ever want to go to birthday parties?” “Is something wrong with her?”
Or, have you ever been in major disagreement about a choice a close friend or family member is making and all you can see is a big, red, flashing WRONG?
These situations get me again and again.
Here are three things that have helped me let go of the struggle to live with more peace and more joy when “wrongness” comes up around me.
1. I remember that I rather be happy than be right.
I’m not here to live someone else life and make choices or judgements on any one else. Remembering to bring the attention back onto my life and my well being can quickly shift any struggle I’m having with other peoples choices. I can only control myself and in choosing to control myself, I release what’s not serving me.
2. I remember to change my thoughts to change my experience.
At first when my daughter didn’t want to attend a friends birthday party, I worried. Is she shy, anxious, nervous? How could she NOT want to go to a birthday party? Then I changed my thoughts. I know that she is okay whether she wants to go to a party or not. I appreciate and respect that at such a young age she can decide and knows what she wants to do. What she’d rather do is stay home and play with her siblings or hang out with her mom and dad. I give her full permission to be where she is and who she is and there is no doubt that she is fine just the way she is.
3. I remember to ask myself “What’s right about this?”
I recently got stuck in one of these “wrongness” episodes and the quickest way out was changing my perspective around being wrong. Instead of focusing on the wrong of the situation, what if I focus on the part of the situation that is right. I made multiple notes around the house that said “What is right about this?” I put most of them around the kitchen because that’s where we spend most of our time as a family, and one in the mudroom to remind me what’s right about getting out the door for school each morning.
What is right about NO ONE listening to me in the morning? Well, they are making themselves breakfast, doing there own thing and interacting happily with each other.
What is right about kids taking 15 minutes to get their shoes and coats on? Well, they are doing it themselves and they are learning to be independent and learning time management skills.
What’s going right in your life today? Your comments will benefit everyone in their own spiritual growth and understanding. Please consider commenting below.
I hope this serves you in clearing some or all of the wrongness out of your space.
In Health and Healing,